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Let today be a tribute to a stupid idiotic conversation i had today.

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I'm expired.

*checks the barcode*

sigh, way before expiry date. I guess i'm overload with too much thoughts. Like usual, thinking serious stuffs will drain the life out of me.

Well, it's going to be a busy few days. At least i'm going to be too busy to give any thoughts to it.

Hopefully i'll come back bouncing and hoofing around like how a happy madman on an overdose of 3 weeks worth of estacy supplywould be.

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There is this one time where everything that is important to you suddenly seems like a burden and a chore to do.

Suddenly, you lose all the acceleration. No brakes applied. and you stop. right there. in the middle of the street. car full of petrol with your wipers still moving left to right.

Strange, you were moving at such a leisurely pace before this. Somehow, every time you prod your car forward, it just doesn't want to move smoothly, as if it's a petrol engine running on those cheap diesel fuel distilled in one of your uncles illegal backside seedy fuel distillation factory.

Which bring us back to the subject here.

How long can i go on? I love this work. Really. But somehow, somewhere along the line. I lost something.

I don't think that i'm doing a good job anymore. And it doesn't fit if i were to continue working if i can't make myself useful at it at all.

Questions in my mind these days: " To quit? or not to quit?"

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There are times that i wished people would just spare a moment to listen to my sigh. But i came to realise that sometimes when it comes to this moment, other people would also like to be heard to.

so i guess, it ended up that i listen to others instead of making others listening to me. that's me at my best. letting other people to grasp me by my neck.

So introverted a person, ain't I?

and what am i going to do about this?

one thing, just wish that everything in this life is just a dream. and we'll wake up into a nightmarish reality.... very matrix - like.(yeah i know, i can call this a nightmare and wake up into a wonderful utopia but that is just not me, don't forget i am a negative person)