The World of Ngiamville
It crossed my mind suddenly that I'm an emperor of a country and no one seems to knows what exactly dwells inside it.
So much questions.
Well well well, we can't go on without the very least, a brief description of Ngiamville, the domain of Emperor Ngiam.
How? What? Where? Why? What?
So much questions, and yes!! Finally, we'll be answering you in this short mini-docu of Ngiamville
Therefore, presenting....
"The fail proof guide to Ngiamville" (due to cost cutting measures, you're required to hum your own version of Nat Geo music theme)
Now.... where do we begin?!?
Well, to give a sugary taste of what you can expect in this wonderful realm.
I present to you.... the official mascot of Ngiamville. This holy creature is generally worshipped in most of the region of Ngiamville(The other region that worship the loudspeaker in gAh Beng kancil cars was wipe out in the great kancil purge by Emperor Ngiam.... but of course, another story, another time)
1. Juno the holy creature of Ngiamville (presently)
Juno hunting for crabs in the wild.
Anyway, back to the story again, due to the holy nature of this creature, it had been a custom of the people of this country to show their respect by welding a specially imported crown onto the head of this creature. This crown thus elevate the position of this creature onto the highest level among all animals in this kingdom. It is also a method to identify stray endangered lookalikes intruding from the neighboring country as..... you can guess it!!! they don't wear the crown.
The stray creatures are usually capture following the standard set by National Geographic for the capture of endangered animals. The capture is usually followed by a feast for the emperor as the flesh of endangered animals are getting scarce, therefore more valuable.
As the numbers of this holy creature have been dwindling, a great feast have been planned by emperor ngiam for the slaughtering of the final last holy creature. Subsequently, a new holy mascot will be chosen among other animals (and yeah, we'll weld the crown in too).
But back to the habit of this creature, it is known to be noctural and tend to hunt singularly for the famous crabs of Ngiamhell. The method is well known, where it'll simply just walk around until it feel something been smash under its hoof. After that, with the half smash shell of the crab, it'll use its horn to plummel it into small little pieces which will be consume after the creature has done running a circle of 5 laps around the carcass.
2. Cheecrabai
Now, calling this famous crab famous is an understatement. It is well known as the infamous crab all around the world. The crab connoisseur call it the Cheecrabai (the letter "cra" must be ommited when it is being read).
Cheecrabai can crap with its mouth closed!
Why is it infamous? Was because of the special ritual done be the holy creature?(running 5 laps around its dead body) Or can it spells A-Z?
Ohhh..... it can do more than that. It can speak. More specifically, it can only speak in vulgar language. It breeds so fast (500 eggs per day) that its everywhere in this country and tourist are greatly encourage to take this little cute crustacean back to their home country.
"The Emperor Ngiam personally guarantee that this crab will increase the vocabulary of the children of your household by a factor of 100 within the period of 3 days, failing, the emperor will personally air courier to you the holy creature of Ngiamhell together with the crown weld on its' head FREE OF CHARGE!!"
As a matter of a fact, the ability of this crab was so well known that it was sent to loudspeaker of kancil car worshiping region where the unrelenting curses by the crab drive the gAh Beng out of the land. (the great purge)
Other than that, the cursing crab is a vital cog in the well being of the country. Nope, it has nothing to do with the economy, but it has something to do with the endless crap generated by the crab. If you haven't manage to guess it(IQ too low?), it is the main source of electricity generation in the Ngiamville. Huge amount of these cursing crab were trap and kept in a huge pot where the eternal cursing by the crabs generated so much sound wave that it spins the turbine which in turn generate electricity for Ngiamville. The ability of Ngiamville to generate such volume electricity without any visible sources was so baffling that the United States of America bombed one of the pots thinking that it was a nuclear plant generating uranium.( This matter, the Crab Attack, was resolved when USA agreed to purchase 342 million of crap talking crab as a mean of compensation)
It was well known that a large number of chattering crab drove out the gAh Beng in the Great Purge. But how was it possible that the citizens of the holy creature region stand such ruckus?
The answer lies in this:
3. Caterpilying
The caterpilying is one of the most essential creatures in the country of Emperor Ngiam. It is the creature that keep the population of the country sane throughout the sounds generated by the crappy crab. Usually this useful caterpilying is used in pairs. Using in single dose might not give the wanted effect.
Caterpilying in a much more wholesome form
Now you would wonder. How?
It's simple. You just pick a pair of it(not one... remember!). Pull out the two antennas. After that, simply push the whole caterpilying into your ear. As simple as that.
The highly sensitive fur of this caterpilying will absorb most of the sound which will in the end causes the noise to be heard as a mere whisper. This in turn means that the citizens of Ngiamhell have to shout to each other's ear to be heard properly. But the added value of this is that everyone learns how to shout louder. In the case of an outright extinction of the Cheecrabai, the citizens of Ngiamhell will be drafted into the pot to generate electricity.
By the way, there is still no known method of removing the effect once you used it. However, the world reknown scientist of Ngiamhell is already working on it. In the meantime, you can enjoy the benefits mentioned above.
What does this caterpilying eats? simple. As the picture has suggested, it consumes leaves. But what eat this caterpilying is a question that will reveal much of the ecosystem of Ngiamhell. Like every ecosystem around the world. There's always the top predator. The top of the pyramid creatures. The creature that rule the rest of em. Sadly speaking, due to ecosystem restructuring, this special creature have been kicked down a rung or two in the pyramid food chain.
4. Joshgle
Joshgle, once the animal that rule the rest of them. Top predator... once. It was affected by the chattering of the crappy crabs that instead of hunting for rhinos, wild boars, and any other huge fleshy mamalia that is yet to be mentioned, it spend it's days feeding on caterpilying. Being an intelligent creature, it knew that by observing humans, caterpilying is the only one tool that can prevent crapping madness. However, due to it's limited intelligence, it was unable to find it's own earhole to stuff in the caterpilying.
Joshgle in its much more happier times
It is already an highly endangered creature in the country, with a population of around 39 and environmentalist have already prepared to implement programme to save the creature. Emperor Ngiam, being the kind natured ruler he is, has decreed that instead of using the programme, extermination of the creature will be carried out so that the issue of it being endangered will never come into play anymore as it will not be any of it left to be declared endangered.
It is already an highly endangered creature in the country, with a population of around 39 and environmentalist have already prepared to implement programme to save the creature. Emperor Ngiam, being the kind natured ruler he is, has decreed that extermination of the creature will be carried out in order to end the issue of it being endangered once and for all.
5. Cranenanewoon
Another creature worthy of mention in the country is a special avianary friend of us. The Cranenanewoon (there's no proper way of pronouncing it other that yelling it out aloud in a gay manner)
Cranenanewoon hunting for river slugs
An interesting characteristic of this creature is that it is able to emit a very sweet smelling fart whenever it get aroused by the sight of a passing wild boar. No particular reason can be found for this behaviour, but a recent speculation suggested that it get a sexual pleasure out of the sight of the wild boar's tusk.
Anyway, the fart was known to be able to rocket the crane to an amazing speed in mere seconds. The fart is valuable that as recent as a year ago, a French company devised an ingenious way to harvest the expulsion. The fart have since became a best selling perfume in the European market. More plans have been thought out to further exploit this valuable fart. Just as recent as a month ago, a famous soft drink manufacturer have signed a deal in which the special fart will be used as a substitute for carbon dioxide(used to create bubbles in the drink).
Any visitors wishing to capture might as well thread with a word of caution as the bird was known to have a morbid facination with the steering wheels of any vehicles. It is a common knowledge that 95% of the accidents that occurred in the country is due to vehicle hijacking by these unlicensed birdy driver.
6. Piglings
Now, if you see any pig like creature running around welcoming you to the country and inquiring for your destination, do not be alarm. Piglings are a breed of domesticated pigs trained in the fine art of taxiing.
Pigling is a great beast of burden
As non-citizens are not allowed to drive motorized vehicles in the country, this pigling have been specially trained for the task of carrying visitors around the interesting place of the country. Worry not, as these piglings have been known to be sturdy creature. Make yourselve comfortable when you board the pigling. In the event of emergency(like accident or the pigling running amok), do not be afraid, just insert two of your fingers into its snout for 3 minutes and it'll then pass out. You may alight after that.
In a not so peaceful time, the piglings was stacked up in huge numbers(in an orderly manner of course) to build fort to repel armed and dangerous intruders from neighboring countries.
These creatures have been trained for century and they are indeed well aware of any nook that you might want to
Well, that mark the end of The World of Ngiamville Part 1. Do not fret over the second part as it will be publish in a very near future. In the meantime, have a very nice chomp of caterpilying and spray yourselve with Cranenanewoon's fart.
So much questions.
Well well well, we can't go on without the very least, a brief description of Ngiamville, the domain of Emperor Ngiam.
How? What? Where? Why? What?
So much questions, and yes!! Finally, we'll be answering you in this short mini-docu of Ngiamville
Therefore, presenting....
"The fail proof guide to Ngiamville" (due to cost cutting measures, you're required to hum your own version of Nat Geo music theme)
Now.... where do we begin?!?
Well, to give a sugary taste of what you can expect in this wonderful realm.
I present to you.... the official mascot of Ngiamville. This holy creature is generally worshipped in most of the region of Ngiamville(The other region that worship the loudspeaker in gAh Beng kancil cars was wipe out in the great kancil purge by Emperor Ngiam.... but of course, another story, another time)
1. Juno the holy creature of Ngiamville (presently)
Juno hunting for crabs in the wild.
Anyway, back to the story again, due to the holy nature of this creature, it had been a custom of the people of this country to show their respect by welding a specially imported crown onto the head of this creature. This crown thus elevate the position of this creature onto the highest level among all animals in this kingdom. It is also a method to identify stray endangered lookalikes intruding from the neighboring country as..... you can guess it!!! they don't wear the crown.
The stray creatures are usually capture following the standard set by National Geographic for the capture of endangered animals. The capture is usually followed by a feast for the emperor as the flesh of endangered animals are getting scarce, therefore more valuable.
As the numbers of this holy creature have been dwindling, a great feast have been planned by emperor ngiam for the slaughtering of the final last holy creature. Subsequently, a new holy mascot will be chosen among other animals (and yeah, we'll weld the crown in too).
But back to the habit of this creature, it is known to be noctural and tend to hunt singularly for the famous crabs of Ngiamhell. The method is well known, where it'll simply just walk around until it feel something been smash under its hoof. After that, with the half smash shell of the crab, it'll use its horn to plummel it into small little pieces which will be consume after the creature has done running a circle of 5 laps around the carcass.
2. Cheecrabai
Now, calling this famous crab famous is an understatement. It is well known as the infamous crab all around the world. The crab connoisseur call it the Cheecrabai (the letter "cra" must be ommited when it is being read).
Cheecrabai can crap with its mouth closed!
Why is it infamous? Was because of the special ritual done be the holy creature?(running 5 laps around its dead body) Or can it spells A-Z?
Ohhh..... it can do more than that. It can speak. More specifically, it can only speak in vulgar language. It breeds so fast (500 eggs per day) that its everywhere in this country and tourist are greatly encourage to take this little cute crustacean back to their home country.
"The Emperor Ngiam personally guarantee that this crab will increase the vocabulary of the children of your household by a factor of 100 within the period of 3 days, failing, the emperor will personally air courier to you the holy creature of Ngiamhell together with the crown weld on its' head FREE OF CHARGE!!"
As a matter of a fact, the ability of this crab was so well known that it was sent to loudspeaker of kancil car worshiping region where the unrelenting curses by the crab drive the gAh Beng out of the land. (the great purge)
Other than that, the cursing crab is a vital cog in the well being of the country. Nope, it has nothing to do with the economy, but it has something to do with the endless crap generated by the crab. If you haven't manage to guess it(IQ too low?), it is the main source of electricity generation in the Ngiamville. Huge amount of these cursing crab were trap and kept in a huge pot where the eternal cursing by the crabs generated so much sound wave that it spins the turbine which in turn generate electricity for Ngiamville. The ability of Ngiamville to generate such volume electricity without any visible sources was so baffling that the United States of America bombed one of the pots thinking that it was a nuclear plant generating uranium.( This matter, the Crab Attack, was resolved when USA agreed to purchase 342 million of crap talking crab as a mean of compensation)
It was well known that a large number of chattering crab drove out the gAh Beng in the Great Purge. But how was it possible that the citizens of the holy creature region stand such ruckus?
The answer lies in this:
3. Caterpilying
The caterpilying is one of the most essential creatures in the country of Emperor Ngiam. It is the creature that keep the population of the country sane throughout the sounds generated by the crappy crab. Usually this useful caterpilying is used in pairs. Using in single dose might not give the wanted effect.
Caterpilying in a much more wholesome form
Now you would wonder. How?
It's simple. You just pick a pair of it(not one... remember!). Pull out the two antennas. After that, simply push the whole caterpilying into your ear. As simple as that.
The highly sensitive fur of this caterpilying will absorb most of the sound which will in the end causes the noise to be heard as a mere whisper. This in turn means that the citizens of Ngiamhell have to shout to each other's ear to be heard properly. But the added value of this is that everyone learns how to shout louder. In the case of an outright extinction of the Cheecrabai, the citizens of Ngiamhell will be drafted into the pot to generate electricity.
By the way, there is still no known method of removing the effect once you used it. However, the world reknown scientist of Ngiamhell is already working on it. In the meantime, you can enjoy the benefits mentioned above.
What does this caterpilying eats? simple. As the picture has suggested, it consumes leaves. But what eat this caterpilying is a question that will reveal much of the ecosystem of Ngiamhell. Like every ecosystem around the world. There's always the top predator. The top of the pyramid creatures. The creature that rule the rest of em. Sadly speaking, due to ecosystem restructuring, this special creature have been kicked down a rung or two in the pyramid food chain.
4. Joshgle
Joshgle, once the animal that rule the rest of them. Top predator... once. It was affected by the chattering of the crappy crabs that instead of hunting for rhinos, wild boars, and any other huge fleshy mamalia that is yet to be mentioned, it spend it's days feeding on caterpilying. Being an intelligent creature, it knew that by observing humans, caterpilying is the only one tool that can prevent crapping madness. However, due to it's limited intelligence, it was unable to find it's own earhole to stuff in the caterpilying.
Joshgle in its much more happier times
It is already an highly endangered creature in the country, with a population of around 39 and environmentalist have already prepared to implement programme to save the creature. Emperor Ngiam, being the kind natured ruler he is, has decreed that instead of using the programme, extermination of the creature will be carried out so that the issue of it being endangered will never come into play anymore as it will not be any of it left to be declared endangered.
It is already an highly endangered creature in the country, with a population of around 39 and environmentalist have already prepared to implement programme to save the creature. Emperor Ngiam, being the kind natured ruler he is, has decreed that extermination of the creature will be carried out in order to end the issue of it being endangered once and for all.
5. Cranenanewoon
Another creature worthy of mention in the country is a special avianary friend of us. The Cranenanewoon (there's no proper way of pronouncing it other that yelling it out aloud in a gay manner)
Cranenanewoon hunting for river slugs
An interesting characteristic of this creature is that it is able to emit a very sweet smelling fart whenever it get aroused by the sight of a passing wild boar. No particular reason can be found for this behaviour, but a recent speculation suggested that it get a sexual pleasure out of the sight of the wild boar's tusk.
Anyway, the fart was known to be able to rocket the crane to an amazing speed in mere seconds. The fart is valuable that as recent as a year ago, a French company devised an ingenious way to harvest the expulsion. The fart have since became a best selling perfume in the European market. More plans have been thought out to further exploit this valuable fart. Just as recent as a month ago, a famous soft drink manufacturer have signed a deal in which the special fart will be used as a substitute for carbon dioxide(used to create bubbles in the drink).
Any visitors wishing to capture might as well thread with a word of caution as the bird was known to have a morbid facination with the steering wheels of any vehicles. It is a common knowledge that 95% of the accidents that occurred in the country is due to vehicle hijacking by these unlicensed birdy driver.
6. Piglings
Now, if you see any pig like creature running around welcoming you to the country and inquiring for your destination, do not be alarm. Piglings are a breed of domesticated pigs trained in the fine art of taxiing.
Pigling is a great beast of burden
As non-citizens are not allowed to drive motorized vehicles in the country, this pigling have been specially trained for the task of carrying visitors around the interesting place of the country. Worry not, as these piglings have been known to be sturdy creature. Make yourselve comfortable when you board the pigling. In the event of emergency(like accident or the pigling running amok), do not be afraid, just insert two of your fingers into its snout for 3 minutes and it'll then pass out. You may alight after that.
In a not so peaceful time, the piglings was stacked up in huge numbers(in an orderly manner of course) to build fort to repel armed and dangerous intruders from neighboring countries.
These creatures have been trained for century and they are indeed well aware of any nook that you might want to
Well, that mark the end of The World of Ngiamville Part 1. Do not fret over the second part as it will be publish in a very near future. In the meantime, have a very nice chomp of caterpilying and spray yourselve with Cranenanewoon's fart.
decreed by ngiam at 1:22 AM
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