A CNY invitation letter to friends.

Dear friends,

It is to your great misfortune that Emperor Ngiam won't be that desperate anymore for your companionship for the next few weekends. This is mostly due to the fact that Emperor Ngiam will be indulging himself in an activity that will get his ass molested repeatedly by unidentified strangers during the said weekends.

Please do not be alarm as this does not mean that Emperor Ngiam will be totally isolating himself from ya all as he is still open to any type of engagement as long as it involves:

1. spearing a rhino
2. house decorating with feathers from crane/penguin
3. exterminating road roaches (gAh beng)
4. any combination of above.

So if you are miserable and unappreciated during the CNY and would like to do something uplifting, please do not hesitate to call Emperor Ngiam to enlist yourselve for an Emperor Ngiam appreciation program, where comforting confidence inducing pats will be administered to arouse a feeling of being uplifted.

I can't wait to be an integral part of your exhilarating experience during CNY.

Yours truly (superfriend),

Emperor Ngiam