The mother of all inventions!!!
Tonight, we're going to talk about ridding a national pest, reducing national unemployment numbers and conquering the world's largest economy. All in one.
In other words, killing more than two birds with one stone. This might be one of the world's greatest invention yet. Ever heard of the world's much touted revolutionary invention, Segway? This will sure to eclipse it. Even your neighborhood market going aunty will talk about it on their walks to the wet market. It is this HUGE!!!!
Now, this invention unlike most of the so - called mega project that we have around here, will not require much of an investment. And even better, after much calculation, it's payback time will be less than 6 month. Now, this surely is the next best thing to your evil boss being slowly run over by a rampaging bulldozer. yeah?
So to the project then. Require equipment?
A hole big enough to fit 5 kancils.
Automated adjustable concretes camouflage to look like a road surface.
2 Catapultable steel block.
Bullet proof booth installed with hand sensor.
Small-size automated manufacturing plant.
Employs? 1 person.
Further clarification will be needed on this national pest. What is it then? Ever being nearby/on a road at night:
1. And suddenly the car starts to rev its engine even though the countdown clocked installed above reads 67? And you have to lift your two hands from your motorbike handle to cover your nose to prevent the toxic smoke from poisoning your brain, further increasing your idioticity, causing your kapchai bike to topple over into a nearby sewer with your poor Valentine date?
2. Minding your own business when suddenly a car overtake you and blind you with 50 multi colored Philips 35 watt lamp? And you have to lift your hands (again) to cover your eye to prevent it from being blinded, and your car to swerve to the nearby plantation, killing a few local lembus innocently munching some grass in the middle of the night, causing the whole kampung to tie you naked to a nearby termite nest?
3. Just lighted the fuse of your mother of a firecracker when a car suddenly increase it's bass volume 5000X more, rendering you stoned at the spot for a moment and waking up the next morning with 3 less finger and a leg stump?
Yeah, I can hear a chorus of aye now. And do I have a solution? Hell, it solves everything, all the way to that niggling pus at the end of your buttock.
To understand the concept, have a look at the simple 2D diagram at the bottom.
Continuing the description of this mindblowing invention:
1. Dig a hole and install the automated asjustable camouflage concrete on top of it. Make sure that it is wired to the hand sensor inside the bulletproof booth.
2. Pay some aunty from the local neighborhood RM40/hour to insert her hands in the booth. Trust me, you'll earn even more than that.
Methodology of equipment:
1. An sophisticated cultured driver with his mindblowing loud, glaring, smoke induced invisibility will pass by.
2. The aunty with her hands inside the sensor will lift her hands to cover her eyes/ear/nose.
3. Sensor will detect sudden lost of a hand. Will trigger the adjustable camouflage concrete.
4. Car will ended up inside the hole.
5. Steel block will be triggered (the line is wired in a series sequence, to satisfy the curiosity of any engineers around here) and thus, catapulted to the end.
6. The second steel block will then push the wreckage into the automated small size manufacturing plant.
7. Automated small size manufacturing plant will process the metal car into blocks of fork and spoon.
Now, why fork and spoon? With the onslaught of modernisation and westernization in China, there will be a huge demand for fork and spoon to cater to Chinese fine dining wannabes. This is where the potential of this invention will be fully realised. The fork and spoon is dirt cheap. There is no material cost involved. All you need to do is to export all of em into China and sell 'em at a price so cheap that all the local fork and spoon goes bankrupt. After that, you will then conquer as China can't live without your fork and spoon.
There you go. Something for you guys to think about. If you have a few millions to spare and no where else to spend it. This could be the invention for you. Social Responsibility (reducing smoke, noise and light pollution all at one go), cost effective (no material production cost at all), all conquering(China market!!). What else can you ask for?!?
In other words, killing more than two birds with one stone. This might be one of the world's greatest invention yet. Ever heard of the world's much touted revolutionary invention, Segway? This will sure to eclipse it. Even your neighborhood market going aunty will talk about it on their walks to the wet market. It is this HUGE!!!!
Now, this invention unlike most of the so - called mega project that we have around here, will not require much of an investment. And even better, after much calculation, it's payback time will be less than 6 month. Now, this surely is the next best thing to your evil boss being slowly run over by a rampaging bulldozer. yeah?
So to the project then. Require equipment?
A hole big enough to fit 5 kancils.
Automated adjustable concretes camouflage to look like a road surface.
2 Catapultable steel block.
Bullet proof booth installed with hand sensor.
Small-size automated manufacturing plant.
Employs? 1 person.
Further clarification will be needed on this national pest. What is it then? Ever being nearby/on a road at night:
1. And suddenly the car starts to rev its engine even though the countdown clocked installed above reads 67? And you have to lift your two hands from your motorbike handle to cover your nose to prevent the toxic smoke from poisoning your brain, further increasing your idioticity, causing your kapchai bike to topple over into a nearby sewer with your poor Valentine date?
2. Minding your own business when suddenly a car overtake you and blind you with 50 multi colored Philips 35 watt lamp? And you have to lift your hands (again) to cover your eye to prevent it from being blinded, and your car to swerve to the nearby plantation, killing a few local lembus innocently munching some grass in the middle of the night, causing the whole kampung to tie you naked to a nearby termite nest?
3. Just lighted the fuse of your mother of a firecracker when a car suddenly increase it's bass volume 5000X more, rendering you stoned at the spot for a moment and waking up the next morning with 3 less finger and a leg stump?
Yeah, I can hear a chorus of aye now. And do I have a solution? Hell, it solves everything, all the way to that niggling pus at the end of your buttock.
To understand the concept, have a look at the simple 2D diagram at the bottom.
Continuing the description of this mindblowing invention:
1. Dig a hole and install the automated asjustable camouflage concrete on top of it. Make sure that it is wired to the hand sensor inside the bulletproof booth.
2. Pay some aunty from the local neighborhood RM40/hour to insert her hands in the booth. Trust me, you'll earn even more than that.
Methodology of equipment:
1. An sophisticated cultured driver with his mindblowing loud, glaring, smoke induced invisibility will pass by.
2. The aunty with her hands inside the sensor will lift her hands to cover her eyes/ear/nose.
3. Sensor will detect sudden lost of a hand. Will trigger the adjustable camouflage concrete.
4. Car will ended up inside the hole.
5. Steel block will be triggered (the line is wired in a series sequence, to satisfy the curiosity of any engineers around here) and thus, catapulted to the end.
6. The second steel block will then push the wreckage into the automated small size manufacturing plant.
7. Automated small size manufacturing plant will process the metal car into blocks of fork and spoon.
Now, why fork and spoon? With the onslaught of modernisation and westernization in China, there will be a huge demand for fork and spoon to cater to Chinese fine dining wannabes. This is where the potential of this invention will be fully realised. The fork and spoon is dirt cheap. There is no material cost involved. All you need to do is to export all of em into China and sell 'em at a price so cheap that all the local fork and spoon goes bankrupt. After that, you will then conquer as China can't live without your fork and spoon.
There you go. Something for you guys to think about. If you have a few millions to spare and no where else to spend it. This could be the invention for you. Social Responsibility (reducing smoke, noise and light pollution all at one go), cost effective (no material production cost at all), all conquering(China market!!). What else can you ask for?!?
decreed by ngiam at 9:04 PM
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