Yo Dude, How's Your Buddy>?

I was in FRIM today. I was in the toilet. I was relieving myself. And out of nowhere a kid decided to poke his head at the side of the common urinal while I was in the middle of the process.

Peeping tom nowadays starts young.

Come on God RECORRECT these!!!

You noticed haven't you?! No?!?

I mean. Come on! It's obvious, it's already a malady. It's over used!

And what do you mean that you still can't see it?!?

Geez, I mean, have you been seeing those chinese kung fu movie? Shit hell, it's getting ridiculous and too predictable nowadays watching these chinese movie. It all started from that "Hidden Dragon, Crouching Tiger" thingy where every little Tom, Dick, and Hairy in that movie can fly/float/jump up the peak of a bamboo. After that, it's a must for every movie and drama that comes out to showcase these "incredible" kung fu talent even though they COULD NOT properly pull the scene off and only succeeding in making a fool out of their show. Everyone must fly/float/jump up the peak of that bamboo or else it's not a kung fu movie. Bah and BAH!

It's over use godamnit! Come on, have you actually really seen anyone flying around for real?!?!
Go back guys. Back to the basic. The ol' skool. The kung fu where they don't need flying stunt to properly showcase it. The kung fu where the sword play is for real, where it really involve skills. Where it's the actual representation of how the actual world goes.

Have a look at those old Jackie Chan movies. If I were to be given a choice between these flying shits and the ol Jackie Chan movie, I'll take that Jackie Chan movie all the way to my bed.

Idiots Everywhere I Go

I was driving mynfaithful kancil the other day on the LDP highway when apprroaching the customary choking point (near the church) and seeing so many braking lights in front of me, I applied the brake and nonchalantly look around. You know? When you have nothing better to do in the midst of a goddamn jam, you look everywhere except your own leg pressing the brake pedal.

That's when I sawga car (dismembering the physical outlook of the car comes later) coming from the other lane, still speeding. High on the flyover where you can see a mass of unmoving cars far down below. With all the RED BRAKE LIGHTS flashing the word STOP straight into your face. Maybe he was just testing his turbo or something on a crowded highway, who knows. Maybe he did tried to use his head light to highlight the last car of the 1 km long line of unmoving car with no visible effect(I'm giving benefit of doubt here).

But at the lastimoment, the idiot(note:i'm starting to be bias now) brake. Heavily. With all those sound and swerve effect that always certainly comes in a package along with an idiotic driver. And (un)thankfully, he managed to stop in time. But within seconds, as if it wasn't enough openly displaying to all drivers on the LDP, the idiot decided to further amplify his idioticity. With as much fanfare as his braking stunt just now, the idiot gassed his car to emit some kind of attention attracting sound and stuntily (such word?)swerve into my lane and swerve back to overtake ONE car just as the cars started to trudge their way down the highway.

Yupz, unbelieveable achievement. Youajust make your idiotic journey faster by 1 second. Dimwit. And so, like every other ethical driver out there, I decided to trail that idiot to express my approval of his show of twitness with my middle finger(no I didn't). And surprise surprise, he was going around my neighborhood. So I pass the much cursed black proton wira (wannabe some kind of cool racing car which I can't asscertain) and took a look at the driver and the passenger.

He was blonde. Allmgold. His passenger too. And right now, I would like to argue against the assertion that bloonde girls are dumb? After today, they deserve much more than this. Blonde guys are the epitome of a perfect dumb ass. And when you have two of them idiots together, their idiotness level is amplify by a factor of 7.6(guesstimation here).

As a trivia, try deciphering the number plate of the car below:

BANGLA without ANA means that fifo will not eat wantan mee and continue mining for true gold.

The Evolution

The streets of Bukit Serdang,nfull of walking ass waste walking around. I mean, have you every REALLY drive around the streets there? The pedestrians just saunter around as if they are some kind of revenant cow in the middle of an Indian street. Whenever you go, whenever you are, whatever time it is, when you are in the Bukit Serdang street, someone inevitably will stroll across the street as if they are on an excursion to some stupid park, just at the nick of the moment when your car GOING to pass them. I have no qualms running over these cows, hell, I don't even practice Hinduism. But think of the amount of cash I'll have to spend to clean my cars off the blood of these idiots. Damn.

Bukit Serdang is likegsomekind of stunt school, you know?!? To train some stupid daredevils to make some silly idiotic stunts on the street. It's like first stage of a game, you cross in your aloof manners and pissed off enough drivers, you get to go to the next stage where you get an upgrade. You get a free crimson color kapchai. Yeah, now you know where's all the Mat Motors are coming from. These disease ridden shit from that Bull Shit. That's when you put all your hardearn experience to good use. You fornicately terrorise the whole street of Malaysia. Gaining more points for frightening enough drivers to bonk their beautiful BMW against the LRT pillar and even more points if you perform some superman/wonderwoman/spiderman like stunts on the crimson kapchai.

So what after that?iWhat happen when you get too old for all these stunts? Bones too stiff? Cramp whenever you are performing your superman stunt on your favourite kapchai? Where are they, you're asking?!? I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN THE TAXIS ON THE STREETS OF KL?!?!?!?

Where in the worldmdo you think all these daredevil stunt drivers come from? Where else can you find taxi drivers scoring points for swindling the most cash from poor little lost foreigners? Where else can you find taxi driver swearing by their invulnerable armored plated vehicle to stand the effect of any failed stunts?!? Shit hell, they are the veterans survivors of all these evolutionary stunt process. Bah! And you think you can bulldoze em off the streets eh?

And you ask. Yoursure would had asked. What happened to the ones who failed at the first stage? or those who bonk their crimson bike onto the LRT pillar instead of the driving the BMW to it?




Hell, I thought youushould have known by now.













God damn it! Whereldid you think allethose illegal pirated VCDs comezfrom?!?!

You got mail

Hey Ngiam,

Can we not do this anymore? This useless idling. Total waste of time. So rooted to your seat that if you disapate into the thin air, no one will bother to notice.

Tell me, what've you learned today? What've you done? Wasting all you time onto unproductive activities. Stunting your mind and body alike. Midget!!

What's the point? Why? Nothing is going to wait for you. The wonderful forest air that you like so much, you're not getting it if you're fortifying yourself.

So what have grown better? The world? even if it is so, you have not grown at all. And even if the world has really indeed grown better, you've played no part in it.

You've come out to a new phase of life now. There's this fresh air of change. Move up the food chain now. Eat that tiger. After all, you're suppose to be the top of it. Not the bug at the bottom.

Come on, you can do it. You've been on a downward spiral for the past few years, just like Liverpool winning the European Cup, you gotta start to push yourselve up.

Don't leave your ass lying around the floor anymore. No one will going to be giving you a good kick anymore. From now on, you are responsible for your own ass. Kick it yourself.

So what now? You know yourself. How do you want the world to be serve to you? On your goddamn ass? a silver platter? or do you want to grasp under your hand with your famous evil grin? Decide now. Right now there's only one thing that is waiting for you and that is you yourselve.

You hope to see a difference in your action soon. Failing to do so, we might induce self battering to encourage further changes. You've been warned.

Thank you for your time.

Regards,
Maign
Jabatan Pemantauan Ketidakgunaan Ngiam.

Thoughts

At which point do we feel that we've outgrown others enough to be self righteous?

What right do we have to define others?

If we were to wear a mask afraid to be judged by others, doesn't it means that we could be judging others too based only on their alter ego?

Since when we are never all the same? Doesn't everyone wants to be the special different one?

Humans at its best

Probably we'll never ever notice this. But we are quite adept in hiking up the price value of ourselve in a subconcious way. We just can't help but feel that we are the more braver of the most, or the most outspoken among the masses. We justify these by benchmarking ourselves against most of the weaker mass and filtering off the exceptional ones, with the few actions that we did, that comform to these value that we would like to promote ourselve with and at the same time, we blantantly close our eye against our very own actions that contradict whatever value that we are trying to sell ourselve as, simply chucking it into the recycle bin and emptying it. So, whenever we are bringing up the subject of our value within this and that of a exploit, we conveniently remember the memorable ones and completely disregard the undesirable ones.

This is how the world works anyway. This is how some people in the society grew. By being convenient. By being cunningly smart. But this is how the voices of discontent grew too. By wondering why are there leaders so able to paint such wonderful pictures of themselves and yet, still able to dip their fingers into the dark murky water of the filth pit.

You might nod your head in agreement reading this. Agreeing that yes, these people are too pompous and self thinking and deserve to live another life as the little caterpillar that you squish for fun. But then again, you could be guilty as what was written above beforehand. You've judged before you've even search through your mind of whether you are just like those people that is being painted above. You're guilty too. Everyone is.

See. There's no such phenomenon as a perfect person in the world. It's all bullshit. Adam King is not as perfect as seen in the advert. And no, the McD burger is never that enticing as the ones in the television. It's all a sham. People are just like that. They will advertise themselve as tasty, fresh, wholesome, nutritious, colorful, etc. just to end up disappointing every Tom, Dick, and Harry that you can find in the street.

We are the person of two faces capable of going both side of a ruler anytime. It's a matter of balancing it and realising that we can never be so pure into a certain such value that we can grandiosely proclaim to everyone that we are the bravest of all in the land. or the most creative one of all. or the most thoughtful of all. or even the most sensitive of all.

But face it. We are a very peculiar creature. We contradict ourselve sometimes even within the very same one sentence that we used. It's just human nature. To show the grand and to hide the rotten.

Love.

Round and round whirling around in KLCC and this crossed my mind.

Thought a little about this. About the possibility of a relationship in the near future and all the packages that comes along with it. But there's where the thought stop and died out.

I don't think I"m ready. I don't think I'm even near the lower range of readiness.


I'm not ready for the tears that I will surely cause.

I'm not ready to hold and make a promise cause I know I'll break it eventually.

I'm not ready to give a shoulder to cry on as at times, I'm just insensitive.

I'm not ready to see so much sacrifice done for me and me just being unable to recipocrate.

I'm not ready to be a responsible person who can be there all the time.

I'm not ready to sing the love songs that I've prepared.

I'm not ready to even say "I love you".

I'm just not ready.



There's just so much things out there for me to explore. And right now, this is just to distant. Maybe it's just hard to be a human once you've felt that you don't deserve so much of thegood and happy things that people so willing to do for you.

The Session

It's been a really long day. And really, was on this constant mental stress throughout the session. It's so different when you really wants something and you've place so much hope onto it. Suddenly you can't be your normal self cause there's something to lose in the process. And you want to give the best in the effort. Something like that "Last Samurai" movie. You know right? All out last effort to defeat the enemy. Courageous, brave, sure hearted.... and suicidally dumb. Yeps, I suicided. I gave a full all-out effort only to have a completely opposite result. I bombed it. Nuclearly. With all the mushroom cloud and radiation thingy all in one.

I smacked my head onto the goddamn table so many times during the session so much that I wonder how did I manage to last through the whole session with that many setbacks.

On another note. It's a great experience. Even with a brief visit to such place, you get to learn so much about their working cultural. So much that you would like to use it as a benchmark against others. Which is isn't that bad, there are some real bad ones out there that we really need to weed out. Using our hands. Selectively. The lawn mower will just prune everyone all together.

Overall, really nice communication and working cultural. A nice "start-up pack" relationship with the fellow interviewees. Really, everything was just so perfect there.... except for the session.

The grass will continue growing, the cows will continue feeding on it and we'll have our normal stable supply of Ramli burger. Oh well, life goes on.