Merdeka!

It has always been like that.

Every little one of those years, they did it.

The holeless piece of shit called the Mat Motor used it as a reason to ride the road in a pack at a ridiculously slow speed, as if the fast moving lorries care if they are ploughing into a Mat Motor or a pack of em.

The gAh Bengs used it for a full blown race across the LDP highway, relieving their wet dreams of a lifelike initial D race until they smash their comatose brain into the pavement when they bang their useless modified junk into the LDP traffic light

Oh, the suspense at these times.

Ah, what drama.

Fah, when we misinterpret something meaningful into a bloody farce. This sham that some of us used as a reason to overelaborate..... everything

...

I'm just wondering, how often do we read about this particular theory and we feel that it is a very good idea that can work wonders to our lives, only to fear the changes that comes when we're working it and fall back into our very own comfy comfort zone?

Song that I modified

Just found this piece of paper recently. It was the song that I modified for AIESEC's Youthopia. So I'll post it here. Just to immortalise my this song modifying ability.(to advertise too... anyone in need of custom made love songs out there?!?)

By the tune of a song by "The Eagles".... the title? You'll have to find out yourselve.



It's time to say goodbye,
Leaving all everything behind,
There's no miles left,
For us to go together.

Time to part is near,
Words unspoken are meant to be said,
Till the end of time,
Youthopia here's by your side.

Chorus:
We'll be far apart,
Lost through million mem'ries,
But baby, you will still be there in my heart.


It's time to say goodbye,
Leaving all everything behind,
There's no miles left,
For us to go together.

Time to part is near,
Words unspoken are meant to be said,
Till the end of time,
Youthopia here's by your side.

Ngiam News

What new for Ngiam lately?

Well on the Interview front, things have been looking up lately. In spite of a horrendous shit up initially, he managed to pull all his shit together at the last moment and crawl himself into the halfway point of a management trainee programme.

He got a call for an airline company today.

And he's been considered for another 3 companies in an online job agency.

Not bad for a self confessed slacker.

Things are indeed sunny bright in this department.



On the Finance department, it have been a downward spiral ever since he stopped his part time.

But of course he's looking forward to a substantial increase once the Interview front manage to pull its shit together.

All in all, it's a little hazy here. In need of a little rain or else it'll choke itself to death.



On the Physical section, things have been a rollercoaster ride. A sudden rush of physical exertion to be coupled by days of inanimation.

Like usual the CEO of Physical section promised improvement and have cracked the whipped. But it remains to be seen whether this will translate into the needed result.

It's as if this department owns a weather controlling device. A sudden thunderstorm and minutes later bright smilly sun shinny day. Indeed an unpredictable department.



Well, this is all the news of Ngiam at all front. Tune in at a later date(next year maybe?) for more updates.

This is Ngiam reporting. Over and out.

Curfew?!? Says who?!

I was just browsing through my MSN in my usual aloof manner when suddenly one of the nicks in my list cried out for attention to me. It read;

"Selangor area is currently on curfew till this Sunday as the API breaches the hazardous level of 500..!!"

As I finished reading the sentence, I gave a WTF look and nearly choke on my burger. I mean WTF, I was out an hour ago, and everyone seems to be everywhere. The LRT was filled to the brim at its usual rush hour, the usual gang of gAh Beng is out trying to worsen the haze again, the Sea Park Maybank mamak is filled to the brim. WTF is this curfew all about? Since when it's been announced? and WHY IN THE WORLD IS EVERYONE STILL RUNNING AROUND LIKE IT'S A NORMAL TOM,DICKY, AND HAIRY DAY?!?

Is there something I haven't been told?

I double check the newspaper again thinking that I might have missed this declaration and I found..... nothing.

The fact is only certain area in Selangor(Kuala Selangor and Port Klang) is badly affected, and even there curfew wasn't really being declared, only Haze Emergency (to be exact)

"The Prime Minister stressed that the declaration did not mean that a curfew had been imposed, nor would there be any removal of the areas from the Selangor administration."



TheStar


The grouse I have here is the way some people(the uninformed kind) misrepresent information in such way that it sounds much more worse that it actually is. The effect of these reckless misinformation will inevitably cause uninformed ones that is prone to panic.....to panic and pack their blody freaking house with maggi mee for the "curfew".

How many of us ever have actually thought(or actually use our brain) of the consequences of us not authenticating any information that we are going to show to the whole world?

For this matter, is it really that hard to go for our national papers to properly reaffirm the information?

2+2 =4

And now I'll tell you why.

Haze? Rising petrol price?

What else might be going well in your life lately, you ask?

Well.... NOTHING!! but I'm going to tell you something that's so obvious that at the end of this post, you'll want to ram yourselve onto your neighbor's BMW

There's a connection between the sudden appearance of haze and the rising petrol price. I'm surprised that no one caught onto this and after keeping this secret for such a long time, I just can't keep this quiet anymre. I feel that it's my obligation as a responsible citizen of Malaysia to reveal this sinister truth.

Hereby I reveal the root of these causes. The gAh Bengs. Yeps isn't it obvious? gAh Bengs, the creature that always managed to ram their car into the divider whenever they try to follow the scene from Initial D.

Try spotting a gAh Beng at a traffic light. They'll gun their engine. Pressing the accelerator with gusto with their bloody brake on. Emitting SMOKE which contributes to the haze. Burning more FUEL that increases petrol consumption, thus increasing petrol price. Now, imagine 200 000 of the gAh Beng doing the very same thing.

WHERE DO YOU THINK THE SMOKE COMES FROM THEN? SUMATRA? NOOOOO.... IT'S THESE DIMWIT IDIOTS!!!

WHY DO YOU THINK THE PETROL PRICE HAVE BEEN INCREASING? IRAQI WAR? NOOO... IT'S THESE PIECE OF USELESS PILE OF DIGESTED FOOD!!!

And to add salt to the injury, our very own government have been subsidizing these idiots to stop at the traffic light and rev their engine.

Feeling angry after a good natured intention to have a breath of fresh air in the hazy air gone wrong?
Furious that each time you stop at your friendly local petrol station, the price of the petrol goes up by 10 cents?

Now you know who's to blame. From now on, whenever you feel the cold hard surface of the crowbar that you're holding, you'll know who to look for.

Solutions

In the spirit of Ngiam's tit-for-tatting, Ngiam propose that Malaysia starts mass burning when the monsoon wind reverse direction and snuff Indonesia with their own medicine

Just Ngiam

It occur to me that one day, inevitably someone I know might stumble across this blog. Knowing them knowing me, it won't be hard for them to pinpoint the exact NGIAM that owns this blog.

Or, knowing my special ability to suddenly laspe into a coma and splutter everything about my blog.

I've decided to write something sort of like a disclaimer.

So what exactly does this blog means to me? It's a place where I get to release all these awesome mind blogging all world conquering thoughts that's bursting to come out.... Well, not like that. It's a place where I can exhale. It's where I discharge all the thoughts that touch me so strongly. To dissipate all my sense of being wronged. Mostly to huff and puff every little thing that my mind just can't leave alone.

To quote someone quite popular in this blogsphere, "It's like an emotional therapy."

And yeah, this is my outlet.

I've moved and changed my blog before this. I might move some of the archive that means deeply to me over here. But I'll see. I've been searching around for an identity for these bloggy things. Coming out with this and that pseudo-identity until finally, I've decided to just be me. Just ngiam.

Bonzy Ronzy

Ladyyyyyyysssss and Gentlemen!

Lift your right hand. And lift your left hand too. Lift it high.

And give me a BIG clap!

Cause after a whole day of jumping around like a monkey, breathing like a freaking female baboon in heat, getting my hand slashed around, holding a long pole as if I'm having a permenant erection disorder....


















I GOT A BRONZE MEDAL!!!!!

A little anticlimatic right?!? all the stupid troubling shit just for this BRONZE MEDAL!!!!! But wait, there's more. There's a new discovery. A new mind blowing theorem that will make you exclaim "Oh.... My life will never be the same anymore!!". Don't believe me? Ahhh, I know about you scepticals guys out there, just wearing your spectacles and making spastic comments.
Well, after reading this, your spectacles will never be the same anymore.









Now if you always have this impression that long brutal will eventually lead you to the land of the utopia where you can reap your fruits of labor, you ARE WRONG!

Why?!? I'm the living proof. Long tortureous 2 month training for weapon category only to end up 5th (out of 9th). But one easy last minute, last day training for team pattern to get a BRONZE. Now, you can figure out the moral of this story.... so, shoo.... throw off that shackle that's stopping you from enjoying yourselve, and apply NGIAM FORMULA (as written above) for that instant success cum unnumerable chilling out time.

Life changing right? Well, I just know that you're having that warm feeling right now....

Kapitano Cycles! (Part1)

Kapitano's Log:

Before 3rd April. Skudai.

Omph. I received some porno movie from Josh. Must be a farewell gift for me. It'll keep me going, Josh, I swear I'll survive, for your sake. Watch it the night before. Filled me with energy. Yum. Never been so energised. Though beastility porn is not really my perferred choice.

3rd April. Skudai.

Still in Skudai. OMFG. When are we moving? Godamit, I've modified my bike with an additional twin turbo. It's gonna be a crash. My bike I mean, with that WTF face from the Bengs that I'm goinna own.

Order to depart was given. Josh decided to do a last minute moonlighting stunt on top of the neighbors' Storm Mitsubishi. Aroused dogs were barking all along the street. Hmmm, a fitting start for our journey.

Onward we go. Gah, the company. One's a Japanese nursery school nerd named Woon. The other a and the last, a professional Singaporean "2 SGD per head" killer for hired, Kay. Oh well, I'll snuggled beneath Kay's armpit for that much needed comfort feeling then.

Kapitano's ALERT log:
12pm noon. Exactly at the noon. I was cycling. Wind direction was at 5knot north north west (my direction). Noticed a spew of green vapor from Jnune's bottom. 0.04 sec after detection of fart attack, I perform evasive maneuver no. 46 which involves a 360 degree left turn and a bicycle backflip. I triped on a carcass of a dog and feel down. I was quick to recover and decided to activate my emergency twin turbo to catch up. Thankfully, no one noticed. Journey proceed as usual.

We encounter puncture at hour 1223. The tyre can't stand Jnune's weight and gave way. Resulting a large popping sound and a huge pile of flesh being thrown backwards towards me, the Kapitano. I successfully performed evasive maneuver no.46 this time. Thankfully my Jnune didn't snag my cape on her way down. Or else...

We arrived at Project to perform repairs on the puncture. We used various tools to repair the tyre bar Josh's secret porn stash. Tyre magically repaired moments after the emittion of a new trail of green vapor from you know who. Hafta calm Kay down from searching his bag for his weapon (and also discover Josh's secret porn)

Proceed. Journey continue with Kay giving the dirty look at Jnune everyfew minutes. And me, adjusting my bike from the direction of Jnune's shifting buttocks. We arrived at the outskirt of Kota Tinggi at hour 1450. I gave the direction to begin conquest. We overrun the town without much resistant.

Evening. We set off in the town to taste the fruits of our conquest. Woon took it too literally and started licking the pineapples at a fruitstall. After a fruitful meal, we retired to our bed to prepare for the conquest of Mersing.

Hmpf. Slept alone whole night. Kay was snuggled under the protective armpits of Jnune and Woon. Bah. What orgy is this?!? I'll consider sharing Josh's special with em, but until then...

News and People.

Easy isn't it? To proclaim yourself the expert based on conversation with another person.

Verification? Confirmation from other more established source?

Certainly not important right? Not when you can flaunt your "expertise" for the all to see.

Sometimes there should be an ability to differentiate facts and opinions. The experience and word of only one person on a certain issue cannot be used as the one and only judgemental tool when there are others who experience the said issue in a different manner.

Fact is something that has been found to be sure. Like the gravity. It's a fact.

Opinions are something that is expressed from someone's thought. Something that could be true but can be untrue too. Like when Gina said that by having sprout of hair on Moon's chin, she's HIV positive. That's an opinion.

Truth and myth merge when people, unable to separate an opinion or hearsay (or due to the urge of being "in the know") decided to pass it off as facts to others. Causing numerable damage and misunderstanding. This is where misconception of certain issues/things/services/peoples emerge. And this is how some wonderful great issues/things/services/peoples goes down in flame.

Just because of some brainless puppet.
Just because of the need to brush up somes ego.
Just because some felt the need to.

I Shit

OMG OMFG OMUFG OMSUFG OM(etc.)SUFG

I did a stunt!

The cardinal sin for interviews. I did it.

What kind of lapse is this?!?

Since when we(ngiam have lotsa minds) become sooooooo stupid!!!!!!

Argh! It's like getting punch in your gut!!!